utterly utterly dejected

I don't think I have felt this upset in a really long time. I just feel totally let down by all the people who I care about. I didn't get a single phone call from any of my family last night. Whenever I spoke to my Dad earlier, Mum had already told him, but he didn't bother to call me or anything. They didn't call me last night to talk properly. Big Bro didn't acknowledge the msg I sent him. And The Boy had hung up the phone, and then said that he was "out of line" later by text. That is not an apology, and it wasn't even in person. I just felt like crap. I felt like I hadn't lived up to anyone's standards or expectations, and that I was of no import whatsoever. I eventually sent Lil Sis a message:

Neither u nor [Big Bro] nor dad even called to wish me congrats. I had to call dad myself. Thanks for the family support. I really appreciate it.

She called back pretty quick and I shouted at her, and she eventually calmed me down. But it didn't stop me being mad or upset with everyone else. Especially The Boy. I really wanted to talk to him, but I didn't have anything to say that wasn't angry or bitter, and I couldn't face having another fight, since I knew that he would just somehow turn it into being my fault and shout at me. So I basically cried myself to sleep last night. I am so glad I am going to France. It will give me some space from everyone.

To make it worse, The Boy sent me some messages this morning, asking if I was talking to him. I sent him a message back saying

basically you and everyone else I care about totally let me down last night so I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. I'm totally dejected.

I would have hoped that I might have elicited some sympathy or an apology or something, but no. What I got back was

ok i said sorry. but hey if I am such a monster forget it

I can't even be bothered to deal with it, because I just know it is another fight that will make me cry even more and make me feel more alone. just how you want to feel when you are packing up your life into boxes, right?