really rather hurt

The Boy left at 5am this morning, almost whilst I was asleep, and I already miss him. I didn't think that I would, but having the house to myself and doing whatever I want is a bit lonely. Loneliness is also compounded by the horrible feeling that I am being ousted out of my clique. I sent a txt to LJ asking if she wanted to meet up for coffee or something, nothing unusual there. But then I got a txt from here that was clearly meant from Z, saying

Z, keeps txting about meeting up this wk to catch up! Shud I ask her along tom 4 lunch with us or would u rather not?!

. Pretty shitty, no? I dunno, its so hard to find out what's going on. If she doesn't want me coming for lunch, fine, but why not something else? Clearly, it feels, that she doesn't want to meet me or hang out with me after all, and maybe Z doesn't either. I got another one about 20mins later, which said

Sorry , meant that 2 go to Z! she wanted 2 hav an in depth man talk tom so wanted to make sure she didnt mind anyone else going! Hope ur not offended! Xo

How can I not be offended? And yet, it might be benign. I mean, those two have got so close over the last year, and I understand them wanting to do things without me, but its still smarts. I feel really hurt and lonely. I was going to tell The Boy last night, but I wanted to just chill and relax with him. I can't believe I miss him already.

So, hanging out with The Boy has meant that I have been watching TV, something I am not that fussed on, but it has meant that I have, for the first time ever, watched Big Brother, and I have, sadly, gotten really into it. The Boy was rooting for Stu to win, but he got surprise evicted last night, in a truly evil BB moment, but Stu himself was so cool and so happy - he is by far the most relaxed person I have ever seen. I think that The Boy secretly wants to be him. I want Shell to win, mainly because she and I wear exactly the same things, and I have great empathy for her. She won't win though; Nadia will. And no, I'm not going to vote.