family life

I don't think I've ever mentioned this before, but on my mum's side of the family, close to the side of The Murder, I have two reasonably distant cousins. They are sisters, and their names are Florence and Felicity, also known as Flip and Flop. They actually leave messages on our machine saything that it is Flop here, and could we call her back.

eBay

As ever, I'm on the hunt for a second hand board on ebay. Nothing much really coming up. I know I certainly don't want a Bic, because they have a pretty shitty resale value. I'm thinking maybe NSP, because they're cheap and they resale ok, which would be good, because I'm not planning on keeping it for long - just long enough to start getting better fast.

I love Sundays. They are just the most relaxing day ever. No hangover, just good sleeps, reading the papers, watching the OC, which was finally good today, after having been so terrible the last few weeks, and wearing slobby clothes. I haven't even showered today - yes, I am a lazy girl, but I'm also not going to be seeing anyone for a while. I've made vague attempts at tidying up the kitchen. Vague would be the operative term.

Urgh. Tomorrow work starts for real. I can no longer be babied in the nursery, and have to face the big bad world of targets, statistics, and knowing what the hell is going on. Am I looking forward to it? Not really. but then again, what did I expect? It had to start sometime.

I Am Charlotte Simmons

I Am Charlotte Simmons is the new book by Tom Wolfe, and its about a girl who goes to college in North Carolina, and discovers that its all hell breaking loose. I'm excited about it, because Wolfe is blatantly writing about Dook (Duke), which in my eyes embodies all sin and evil, but only because I went to the rival college, Chapel Hill. I love a book I know the score with. I'm not sure why those two colleges inspire the great American novelists - Don Delillo's White Noise is set in Chapel Hill. Must be something about the sky...

The 'Bu

WatchThe 'Bu! It's hilarious. Total take-off of the OC, and v amusing indeedy. Good way to spend hangover day.

The American Empire (Get Used to It.)

The American Empire (Get Used to It.) by Michael Ignatieff may not have been the most normal hangover Saturday morning reading, but it was well, well worth it. He makes a very clear argument about the relationship between Iraq and Israel, and what it means for American committments abroad. I went to see Ignatieff give a couple of lectures last year, and he is the only academic who I could really fancy. He's smart, funny, and vaguely good looking.

quick post

Just a wee post before I go out and get drunk - the West Wing had such a poetic line tonight - "tonight the streets of heaven are crowded with heroes" - isn't that just beautiful? I wish I had heard that line five years ago.

Just finished

I just finished reading Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami last night, and I would recommend it to anyone. It was a fantastic, subtle, whimsical novel, totally and beautifully sad. I absolutely adored it. I don't often enjoy Japanese writers, because I imagine their world so different to my Western experiences, but this was fantastic. Read it.

bidness is booming

Well, okay, business isn't actually booming, but The Boy has been spending a long time working on his proposal, and its coming along really nicely. I've got to spend the evening researching all the surf websites, finding out who does what, and making contact details and sussing out the competition. Bring on the caffeine. Actually, what I am totally craving is some chocolate and of course, there is none in the house. I'll be raiding the baking cupboard in a second to see if there is anything that can fulfill my desires. Its times like these I need to learn to drive.

I noticed today that I am getting rather hard hearted at work today. I just blithely explain to people that charges are charges, and I don't care if they have eight screaming children, I can't do anything for them. Gosh, I'm getting mean. I had better not do this job for too long, or else I will lose my soul.

Sarah sent me a lovely birthday present today: nipple tassles and a matching black thong. I'm not sure what she thinks I get up to after hours with The Boy, but I think its revenge for getting her a fully illustrated Kama Sutra for her birthday. At least mine was an educational text!

shame on me

Today has been a low self-esteem day. I've basically been feeling chubby, unfit, stupid, and pathetic for not knowing how to drive. Of course, most of this is irrational (I am stupid for not knowing how to drive) but its been putting me in a foul mood, and I've not really been able to fix it. Even worse, I'm getting angry at myself for being so pathetic as to having all these feelings, so that is making me feel worse. My head is having a very irrational day in general. Maybe I'll just wake up tomorrow feeling good again. That would be nice.

internet explorer frustrations

Can y'all stop using internet explorer? Ok, I know, its a big ask, but the reason being is that whenever I scripted this whole site, I kinda made the very naive assumption that it would work fine in IE if it was working fine with Safari (my mac browser). Woah. Big mistake. It looks beautiful in a mac browser - the colours are soothing and work nicely together, its a nice floating three column design, and then when I open the page in my pc it is just one big ugly mess. And yes, I know it is my fault, and yes, I know it is up to me to fix it, but how about everyone just stops using Microsoft and uses something, just anything else? Gosh, you guys are great.

temptations

The Boy asked me today if he could have another girlfriend since I live so far away. Naturally I said yes, and now he's hurt that I wasn't insanely jealous and chastized him for even thinking of it. Why the hell would I do that? There was no way in hell that he could have been serious. I think sometimes he needs me to tighten the reins a bit, rather than loosen them. And besides, if he did go get himself another girlfriend, well, I could just hang with one of the guys who asks me out over the phone at work. Ok, please, if anyone out there has ever asked out a call centre person, can you please just tell me why? I got it twice today, and its just so random. I mean, they had no clue what I looked like; they just knew I can pay bills with my magic pc! Weird weird.

Och, I used to just adore Britdog. I still do. I even understood the Vegas wedding. But why has she gone and done it again? Apart from following her own lyrics, natch. Well, I hope she's happy. Fingers crossed for an idyllic Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillippe style wedding, and not a J-Lo catastrophe.

great song

Please buy this Grandaddy CD. I'm just listening to one of my favourite cds, which is actually a free compilation I got from Virgin last summer for buying 5 cds - it has grandaddy, the postal service, ms dynamite, palo alto, calexico, and lots of others. Anyway, the grandaddy song, "Now its on" is just a lovely happy, summery song. And does anyone have the track listings of other "Virgin Recommends.." Normally I wouldn't bow to corporate pushing, but I love that CD so much, I would be willing to try them again.

days are numbered

Lil Sis and I went to see our grandparents at the nursing home today. My poor wee granny is just so sick and so sad it breaks my heart, and my grandpa has suddenly become an absolute stoic, and after years of being tended hand and foot by my granny, willing to do just about anything for my granny. Its just awful to watch, and my poor granny was in tears when we left, because she is just so sad about her mind and her sight and her body failing her, but not letting her go. Its torture. We are just willing some sort of heart attack to come and take her in the middle of the night and put her out of her complete misery.

I am weird

I'm a little concerned about myself. I have no interest in going out. FMN3 called me last night, and I turned her down, even though we always have fun, and I would have had a good time. I was also supposed to go out with work peeps as well for a few drinks, and I welshed on that. Why? What is compelling me to become a social recluse? And its not as if I'm doing anything else remotely productive with my time - last night I read the papers, some magazined, and went to bed around 10.30pm. I mean, on a Saturday night! That is sad. Admittedly, I was working, and today is my only day off this week, so maybe that was part of it, but still, I've got to change this. This week, I'm not working at 8am, so this will be my chance and rectifying my social life. Say yes to everything.

wowee - thanks guys!!

I had no idea people were blogblinging me! Thanks guys - I'm really touched. I feel that I've genuinely touched your hearts enough for you to donate $0.76. That's great. I'm happy. Oh, and I think I've got sitemeter working, so that'll be even better. Cheers m'dears.

how am I going to make this work?

I've just spent about 20mins plugging various dates and times into flybe to try and go and see The Boy over the next month, and nothing worked at all. I can get something a month away, but between me not seeming to get any weekends, and with HBoS having the worst working schedule ever, so they can't even refund holidays that I'm due until October 11th, I'm getting pretty upset. It just doesn't seem fair or right, and plus, I'm just disheartened by the whole affair. I might as well book the ones for weeks and weeks in advance, just to make sure I can, but its just heartbreaking.

Today, in general has been a heartbreaking day. Let me start by something funny though. Lil Sis told me yesterday that she watched some woman's rectum being removed in surgery yesterday, which was pretty gross. It just made me think of a story by Chuck Palahnuik called Guts, which is just about the most vile, disgusting, and pretty gross, but compelling thing I've ever read. And apparently, all three of the story lines are true. Even worse.

But what's been going wrong? The weather - wind and rain creating interesting obstacles whilst biking home - I honestly thought I might cry when I got home; general extreme boredom at work; a general sense of boredom and ennui; there being no food in our house; and just och! I have no motivation to do the things which I used to love - like redesigning this sight for instance. I mean, I used to get a kick out of that, but no more. What is wrong with me? I still love writing, but the fact that I know I have to get my ass in gear and redesign it, as well as design a surf chick site as well, does not exactly get my heart racing. And it should! Maybe I'll have to give myself a kick up the arse. Either that, or buy some motivationally inspring "look-you-too-can-have-a-lovely-shiny-cool-website" tips book or something. I guess I am just upset about the lack of The Boy time I seem to be having. It just doesn't seem right. Plus, the only weekend that does work for us is the same weekend as FMN3's flat warming party in London, and I really wanted to go to that and see all my London people. Eek and arg. Plus, there were waves at Tyrella today, and I was sitting in an office, receiving emails about waves at Tyrella. That's not right, is it?

teachers pet

Yep, that's me. I spent the day not taking calls, and instead coaching other people in my group about what to do, what was going well, and what wasn't. Easy as pie for me, since I had no stress at all. Still, it was a bit weird, because I didn't really feel I had the authority to say things, and plus, its a bit cheeky to claim to be an expert when I've been doing things no longer than anyone else. Having said that, staying off the phones is grand with me.

I was thinking today about a tv show - "The Secret Life of Us" - that used to be on e4, and now it's not. I was wondering where it went, and whether I was the only person who watched it. I used to stay up until 1am when it was on, just to watch it. I honestly couldn't understand why no one else did - it was cracking - a kind of Australian This Life, without the lawyers. Ok, that's not terribly descriptive.

Lil Sis has bribed me into visiting my grandparents with her on my day off this week. I am so not happy about this, mainly because I only have one day off, and I really wanted to use it to make the most of my new mattress which arrived today, replacing the lumpy futon mattress that I have been suffering through for the last couple of years. Apparently, my lie-in is not coming for another 13days. Yes, that's right, I'm counting the days. Its not that I don't like my grandparents; I do. Its just that visiting them is quite difficult, especially with my granny having such dementia. Plus, I visited them on Monday, so I feel I have done my granddaughterly duties. But I owe it to my sis I'm sure.

My other act of altruism today was giving blood. Or rather, trying to give blood. Lil Sis had similar problems to me, so maybe my family's veins just aren't that good. Basically, first, I got sprayed with my own blood all over my cream cardigan whenever the nurse put the needle in, and second, the needle was so uncomfortable I had to have it taken out before I gave my 440mls. What I gave can be used, but I felt such a wuss for not being able to stand the pain. Apparently though, there isn't meant to be any pain. I've been warned about getting a corker of a bruise tomorrow, especially since it's still hurting tonight.

I'm a little worried that I don't show enough compassion towards The Boy. He's currently looking for work, and I'm trying to be supportive, but also give him a kick up the arse, but I think I am doing more of the kicking and less of the supporting, and I should probably be going the other way round. I am trying to make him see that he has options, but it just isn't coming across like that. I don't know what to do about it. Its hard and its frustrating for both of us.

little things meander along

What have I noticed today? Well, for a start, Neighbours seems to have titles on each episode - whoever heard of a soap with titles? Today's was something to do with aisles, the other one I remember was "The Last Temptation of Jack". I think they just add to the cheesiness of the whole thing. Wholesome and cheesy.

I got "signed off" in work today as competant. Clearly I'm not, but that's okay. I mean, I'm okay enough, in my eyes. You have a 70% chance of me giving you the right information. I also got asked out over the phone, which just gave me the giggles and made me blush right in front of my usually dead-pan trainer. I wasn't really sure of how to handle the situation professionally...

I also have a new addiction which feeds my love for intellect and smut in one fell swoop. Vintage Blue is a reprint of lots of naughty books (I looked for a website, but couldn't get one), and I picked up Erica Jong's Fear of Flying, Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint, Martin Amis's The Rachel Papers, something Japanese, as well as the new Chuck Palanuik, and Norwegian Wood, by Haruki Murakami, who is someone I know I should have read by now but haven't. I think I might be books obsessed. Nothing makes me happier than thinking about the big pile of books beside my bed waiting to be read. I have a very long list of other things I want to read, including the 9/11 Commission report, some Rick Moody, and a whole host of history things, including Gulag by Anne Applebaum. The Boy and I were talking about what we wanted from life, and I came up with a job that didn't kill me, and plenty of time to read books. Oh, and living by the sea, having 3-5 kids, and a nice enough medium sized house. The usual.

Big big love!

CafePress looks to be a total blas. I am completely untalented in the whole creativity department, but hello - how much fun would it be to design my own stuff. I think I'm most excited by the stickers and postcards department, to be honest. Love it.

Things I probably shouldn't do

I feel a bit sorry for people in Belfast today. The reason being is that every so often, about once every six weeks or so, I decide to have a deodorant free day. I just don't think that stopping our body from doing something that it clearly wants to do is a good idea, so today I was going au naturel. Probably not so nice for everyone else. And I can't decide whether it was better or worse of me to go to the gym. I mean, everyone sweats at the gym, it was just that my sweat smelt particularly horrible.

spending my overdraft

Yep, I managed to last a whole month before deciding that spending my overdraft was really a lot more fun than trying to clear it. And where did I spend it? Well, Gap are unfortunately doing well at taking my money. Normally, I am not too big a fan, mainly because I think their skirts are too long, their trousers no shape, and their jumpers make me look like a beast, but something seems to have happened, probably something to do with Sarah Jessica Parker, and everytime I'm in there, I seem to spend large amounts of cash. Today? A v sexy tweed blazer. Yummy.

no stats

I've just found out that my stats people, webstat, crashed over the weekend, and have lost all my stats etc. I'm thinking of someone new then, so has anyone got any suggestions?

Back from the dead

Well, no, not dead, just not very communicative. Why have I not been posting? Well, being too busy can account for the last three days, but before that, I really just had no chat, and no time to check out what other people's chat was either. That's something I've really noticed - that I'm reading less and less blogs, and, despite the speed and the glories that is high-speed broadband, spending less time online in general. Guess I must be spending more time doing other things, but I'm not real sure what yet.

Having been not writing, this does mean that I have lots of news - mostly good. Firstly, I have booked a holiday to South Florida for a week with my dear ol' mommy. Yup, we're having a mother-daughter bonding exercise by spending a week on the beach, in the swamp, and wandering around Miami. Cool. I can't wait. I have to pay for the whole caboodle today, and in a moment of irony, I am paying for it on my card, so my mum is paying me back - how grown up am I?

What else? Well, I've become obsessed with buying a 7'2" or 7'6" funboard since I was surfing last week, so I think I'm finally going to bite the bullet and just do it. The thing is, it is going to be a completely temporary affair, because they don't have that much manoevreability, but they're great for catching waves, so I just want to get confidence up at one thing before switching back down to a shortboard, so I'm thinking even of getting a plasticy board, rather than a proper foam. The Boy is in complete support of this - the more boards I have, the better in his eyes.

I went to stay with The Boy this weekend. It was one of those perfectly blissful weekends, where everything we do works out, and we have a whole bunch of fun. I was so shattered when I got there, but the next day I found the most fabulous pub for lunch, and a good meal later, and wandering around town, and even our costa coffees were good. It was just one of those perfect weekends. Yummy. He wants to set up a business for girls who surf, because the market is (a) saturated for regular stuff and (b) really rather masculine, so I'll probably set up an industry blog for it later this week, and put my head down and do some serious work for it. Fun fun.

Its nice having a three day weekend. Today I'm doing grandparent things, going to Gap, and going to the gym. And I'm actually looking forward to all of it. Oh, and then I'll probably have a serious nap this afternoon.

bless her

My poor wee mammy has been getting a lot of stick today for having bought a pair of shoes in the Rojo (posh ladies shoe shop) sale. You see, the problem is that (a) they have clearly been worn by someone else, and (b) their name is "prada faux". So, basically, she has bought second hand fake Pradas, and Dad and I have been giving her a fair amount of stick for it. She always gets it.

Work today was marginally better, in that most people are now feeling like me, and rather cannot be bothered about it. At least I am normal. I have been feeling quite good because I have been coming up with quite a lot of answers and solutions to problems myself, instead of just relying on my trainer to help me. But even then, nothing can really resolve the tedium that is hearing a constant beep in my ear. Furthermore, they are now being sticky about me taking a holiday in November. Basically, I can't book it now, because too many people are off, but I couldn't book it then, because I didn't have a log-in. What a total arsey Catch-22.

Another pain in the ass (gosh I'm a moan) - new underwear. £50 in Marksies, and I just feel that I have been robbed. I mean, shouldn't pants and bras be tax subsidized or something?

I want to do this!

As you probably know, I'm looking for vacation ideas for November. I am probably going to go to Key West, Florida, with my mum, but if I wasn't, then I'd hop on a Backpackerbus - they look so cool - just the sort of thing I would love to do, in my favourite part of the world, and The Boy would hate it, which is cool, since he isn't coming. But, instead, I am sure it would be much cheaper to just go chill in Key West. I also haven't been there, and that's good enough reason to go.

aches and pains

I got my surf lesson yesterday, care of The Boy and provided by Troggs in Portrush, and man was it fun! We were on beginner foam boards, which are ridiculously easy to ride, so I had a lot of fun, although I froze all the way home on the bus, and now every muscle in my body aches, and I can't really hear out of my left ear. I was quite underwhelmed by the standard of surfers actually up on the North Coast. Maybe having been used to the US and Newquay, where I'm really intimidated, there wasn't really anyone out who was that much better than I am. I'm just going to have to learn to drive, get a winter wetsuit, and keep on coming up. Oh yeah, and get a new board. I want a 7' 6" minimal to have some fun on.

I'm going into town today, and really, I pretty much cannot be bothered, but I've got things to take back (even though they are well past their due back date - we'll have to see what Gap has to say about that), and a Virgin voucher, and a new credit card to test. No enthusiasm though.

weekend and I'm blue

On the happy side of things, I'm going surfing this weekend, actually, in a few hours, and maybe that will make me feel better. On the blue side, I just don't think that I want to do this job. Its strangely stressful, thinking of all the mistakes you could make, and how you probably wouldn't even know that you were doing it. Especially since yesterday I was feeling like hell. But then again, if I quit, I would go back to temping, which would be fine and everything, but much less cash. I'm just not feeling very good about the whole thing now.

what a bad bad man

I meant to post Graydon Carter's Guardian article on how evil Bush-baby has been for the environment, as if we didn't know that one already. I particularly liked the part where Bush tried to pass legislation for a new power station to be built every week for the next 20yrs. I had visions of a kind of Sim City thing, with all the available squares being filled with power stations.